Monday, July 19, 2010

somewhere i belong

Most people I know have a true sense of belonging to something or somewhere, while those who don’t, pretend that they do have one.

I have none. I don't know if that is right. Actually, right is not the correct word. I was simply wondering if a sense of belonging were important or not.

What is a true sense of belonging? Why do we need that? Is it really a fill-er (for a hole or void)? What if it isn't a hole but a vast space - an open sky?

For example, do I have a sense of belonging? Actually, I’m not sure what a sense of belonging means. Perhaps I don't have one.

Do I feel patriotic? No, not really.

Do I want to support my country in any issue or it really doesn't bother me?

I mean my country could go to war tomorrow and might be on the verge of losing. Would I be bothered?

The answer could be subjective.

Would I leave my country for some other country? And if given a chance to lead that country or become a Diplomat of the same, would I take that up? If my country did something really outrageous on an international level and that brought shame to my country, would I really care about it?

I mean anything that is stupid. Like some human rights violation in Iraq. Would I really care?

Do I really care where a person is from? I mean Asia, America or Russia? As long as the person isn't a jerk, I guess it is absolutely fine with me. I guess the same would go for relationships, marriage, etc. etc.

There are more details but in essence it is the same.

That takes away a regional sense of belonging but not completely. I mean whether we realize it or not, we are from where we are and that influences how we think and such. But that could be counterproductive too. I mean that our development, due to the society we have been raised in, could actually make us lose that very 'sense of belonging' that maybe we were supposed to develop. We are what we have been raised as and not exactly but close to. It is our environment that shapes us, right? This could happen in multitude of ways. Either it could make us what exactly it intended to or turn us into multitudes of other ones.

Suppose we were raised to be law abiding citizens. There are 2 possibilities - we grew up as good Samaritans or we grew up antagonistic to that.

So, if it influences us to love, it could also make us indifferent. a sense of belonging, in that sense, could actually arise from one’s experiences. So, if I don’t really feel that I belong to any place is actually an outcome of how I have been treated, nourished, and nurtured to be. And this society is actually the root of all cause. That takes away the regional sense..

Once the regional sense is taken away, I am left to do with nothing but wonder about the non-regional sense (anything, any sense, a theoretical sense that could be non-regional).

Instantly I realise that whatever little sense of belonging I have has actually been forced onto me by society (including my parents). Hence, I do not confirm to all those norms completely. In fact that brings me to a small understanding of my own. We create a small society within ourselves that constantly seeks to rebel against or align with the bigger society outside us. That brings me to the sense of belonging to relationships, people, etc.: the lack of belonging to anything is as realistic as the sense of belonging to anything. A sense of belonging is always felt. No matter how much dissociation (of ourselves) from others we go through, we can not infinitely dissociate our own persona. I mean it could be technically possible but that would take away our sanity and tear us into fragments. That would not only completely dissociate us but also remove our existence and reduce it to traces that have an infinitesimally small sense of belonging to those infinitesimally small fragments of feelings, experiences or moments. No, in fact they could be measured by quanta.

Hence, we never attempt to that. So, we actually do look for that sense of belonging that we truly desire.

A sense of belonging can never substitute for the lack of one, I believe.

So, is ‘a sense of belonging’ just that, only a sense, it's not real and can't make up for really not having one?

No, ‘A.S.O.B.’ is actually very real, however, as real as the lack of one. I can't clearly say whether they could go on without each other.

Do I wish I had an ‘
Honestly, yes, but only the one I really want to and not what this idiotic, hypocrite of a society has created for everyone (that is where the entire logic of an anti-A.S.O.B. came into being from).

I hate this society. I never liked it. It never liked me.

And if society made me like this, made us like this, society shall reap the consequences of a disenfranchised anarchy..


Gintoki said...

i cant remember the number of times i have been told to change my way of thinking
"think about the society that you grew up in, think about the people who helped you become what you are.
The rules are meant to be followed, they were formulated by the society for its existence. The society, the culture, we humans have survived because of these rules."

This is basically the concise form of the speech that i got from two of the most knowledgeable(whatever that means) people i know, my dad and my uncle when i told them "i dont care"

I feel bad for a hungry dog but nothing when i look at a starving person, is that wrong?

scenes from a memory said...

i feel bad for a starving person. i always did.
i feel nothing for a hungry dog. i never did.

'society, you're a crazy breed..hope you're not lonely without me'
eddie vedder - society