Saturday, March 12, 2011

dear god

Dear god

where are you?what do you do?
before i am judged against any bias or flimsy reasoning, i must tell you that i am a grown up man. i am not 10 or 20. i presume you are already aware of that. sometimes, presumption gets the better of us, but you are god, and they taught me that god is ubiquitous and knows everything. but then they told me a lot of things..

so, god, i have been to the skies above, and i have clearly seen with my eyes that you don't live there (provided you are invisible).
so, why are your men feeding me with lies?

god, are you invisible? please, do not discard this question. i am not dumb and you are very well aware of that. i haven't seen you and i must add that i haven't been able to picture you. yes, i've heard quite a lot about you. we have an entire book on you. they say that it was sent straight from heaven or wherever you live, and i know that i could neither see heaven nor you up in the air.

so, where are you? what do you do? how do you look like?

why won't you talk to me?and when you do, and if you do that is, how can i be certain that it is you who is talking to me?

i pray to you when i feel like. i know it is terrible or so i have been told. but that is between you and me; i owe no one an explanation for my actions or relationship with you.

this is beyond their experience..

and, god, you must be aware that i am not a non-believer and neither do i demand any proof. i want answers that's all.

i have kept away from the wrong not because i want heaven, but because you asked me to or so i have been told. my imagination is only an extension to my exposure or knowledge. i don't claim to have imagined or learnt the details of heaven. i don't even know how it could be. it must be a funny place or the greatest if it were to be your creation.

why have you sent me to this wretched world? yes, i am aware of the answer "or so i have been told".

you see, god, there is too much T.O.K..

i am not your greatest man and neither am i competing with someone. i haven't been the best muslim either. but i bet you know how i am better than a lot out there going to mosques.

yes, this world is a test of my faith. yes, i have heard a lot and read a few scriptures too. no, i am not complaining and you know that.

i don't understand a few things, so please help me. for example, why the rich-poor gap?yes, everyone has his own destiny for you have crafted it, but why give someone less? the only logic i can offer is that if everyone were content, no one would remember you? i could be very wrong and i know i am treading dangerous grounds over here. you know that i am not challenging your authority, but it is funny that i am offering you logic!

allow me to say this with all due respects - because nobody in this god forsaken world has any logic. and i feel blessed or strange at times trying to stick to what you have said.

love you
god.
you know that, already, don't know...or so i have been told?

the poetry that comes from the squaring off between, and the circling is worth it.finding beauty in the dissonance..

4 comments:

blood on the ground.. said...

this confession has meant nothing, god. my fancies know no end.

Noor Enayat said...

I love the post...

blood on the ground.. said...

thank you so much for that. it seems a lot of people either don't like it or can't relate to it.
but then i am asking too much from the men of god :)

blood on the ground.. said...

hello visitor from new delhi. it seems that you comment was not posted. actually, it happened in the past as well. moreover, i do not even know who posted it.
please post again so that i can at least find out which X of mine is doing it (if at all) :)