I’d rather travel..travel for a while and see the world. I want to see the color and shape of objects besides my immediate surroundings. I want to feel blue. I want to live red. I want to breathe white. I want to camouflage into black and live as abstract as I can be.
Let’s just pretend you’re alive. Do you know how much space you are taking up? If your existence were to cease, it would be taken up by someone or the other. If not, then you are taking someone else’s space.
Do you believe that there is equilibrium in this world? I feel like laughing at the very though of it. Of course there is equilibrium, but then why do I laugh? Have you ever heard of the theory – what goes around, comes around? Well, it’s nice to hear and good to console oneself with. This entire gamut of equilibrium is so misleading in itself. Someone broke your heart, treated you horribly, and raped your life twice over (metaphorically). So, now as per the little knowledge or understanding I have of equilibrium and that inane theory, one must wait for God’s wrath to fall upon the inflictor. But whatever happened to your pain? Well, that’s what equilibrium is all about, I suppose. Your pain is never avenged for. So, actually, you can never be sure whether the inflictor was inflicted or not. That sucks.
Have you heard about entropy?
he didn't leave us thankfully or not so.. i don't know that. i don't question god's judgement. i accept it with out without remorse. that's what they teach us when we are kids and throughout our lives as well.
"Qullo nafsil zaik-a-tul maut"
i often thought of learning the funeral prayer. while i was contemplating about post-loss events, my grandfather was getting better. he's stable now but weak. i spoke to my father a few days ago about how well the venerable hunter was doing (he had seen better days of hunting than i had for sure). my father was strangely objective and i concluded that it's only a matter of time. i must tell that the trauma was missing..
i can obviously understand why he(my father) was unperturbed for it wasn't his father or so i would like to believe. i can relate my disposition to the same line of thought..
now that i think about it, my grandfather was actually rocking the equilibrium chair. i learnt that a very young man had died. D I E D is word for i want to cut the euphemism here. so, a young man died and his spot was taken by my grandfather, but for how long. soon, someone will have to..live or die.
there's no point talking about my death. i've done that a lot. i shall see to it when i am faced with it. i reserve my reactions - desperate or impromptu or even calculated - to that day.